Time: Tue Aug 05 06:01:05 1997 by primenet.com (8.8.5/8.8.5) with ESMTP id GAA17115; Tue, 5 Aug 1997 06:00:56 -0700 (MST) by usr10.primenet.com (8.8.5/8.8.5) with SMTP id FAA12163; Tue, 5 Aug 1997 05:59:04 -0700 (MST) Date: Tue, 05 Aug 1997 05:58:12 -0700 To: (Recipient list suppressed) From: Paul Andrew Mitchell [address in tool bar] Subject: SLS: Humor Break -- PC Virus Alert (read "Politically Correct") <snip> > >>Request you immediately scan your computer for the following viruses: >> >>PAT BUCHANAN VIRUS: Your system works fine, but it complains loudly >>about foreign software. >> >>COLIN POWELL VIRUS: Makes its presence known, but doesn't do anything. >>Secretly, you wish it would. >> >>HILLARY CLINTON VIRUS: Files disappear, only to reappear mysteriously a >>year later, in another directory. >> >>O.J. SIMPSON VIRUS: You know it's guilty of trashing your system, but you >>just can't prove it. >> >>BOB DOLE VIRUS: Could be virulent, but it's been around too long to be much >>of a threat. >> >>STEVE FORBES VIRUS: All files are reported as the same size. >> >>PAUL REVERE VIRUS: This revolutionary virus does not horse around. It >warns you of impending hard disk attack: Once, if by LAN; twice if by C. >> >>POLITICALLY CORRECT VIRUS: Never identifies itself as a "virus," but >>instead refers to itself as an "electronic micro-organism." >> >>ROSS PEROT VIRUS: Activates every component in your system, just before >>the whole thing quits. >> >>TED TURNER VIRUS: Colorizes your monochrome monitor. >> >>DAN QUAYLE VIRUS (#2): Their is sumthing rong with your komputer, but we >>cant figyour outt watt! >> >>GOVERNMENT ECONOMIST VIRUS: Nothing works, but all your diagnostic >>software says everything is fine. >> >>NEW WORLD ORDER VIRUS: Probably harmless, but it makes a lot of >>people really mad just thinking about it. >> >>FEDERAL BUREAUCRAT VIRUS: Divides your hard disk into hundreds of little >>units, each of which does practically nothing, but all of which claim to >be the >>most important part of your computer. >> >>GALLUP VIRUS: Sixty percent of the PC's infected will lose 30 percent of >their >>data 14 percent of the time (plus or minus a 3.5 percent margin of error). >> >>TEXAS VIRUS: Makes sure that it's bigger than any other file. >> >>ADAM AND EVE VIRUS: Takes a couple bytes out of your Apple. >> >>CONGRESSIONAL VIRUS: The computer locks up, and the screen splits in >>half with the same message appearing on each side of the screen. The >>message says that the blame for the gridlock is caused by the other side. >> >>AIRLINE LUGGAGE VIRUS: You're in Dallas, but your data is in Singapore. >> >>FREUDIAN VIRUS: Your computer becomes obsessed with marrying its own >>motherboard. >> >>PBS VIRUS: Your programs stop every few minutes to ask for money. >> >>ELVIS VIRUS: Your computer gets fat, slow, and lazy, then self destructs, >>only to resurface at shopping malls and service stations across rural >America. >> >>OLLIE NORTH VIRUS: Causes your printer to become a paper shredder. >> >>NIKE VIRUS: Just does it. >> >>SEARS VIRUS: Your data won't appear unless you buy new cables, power >>supply, and a set of shocks. >> >>JIMMY HOFFA VIRUS: Your programs can never be found again. >> >>KEVORKIAN VIRUS: Helps your computer shut down as an act of mercy. >> >>STAR TREK VIRUS: Invades your system in places where no virus has gone >>before. >> >>HEALTH CARE VIRUS: Tests your system for a day, finds nothing wrong, and >>sends you a bill for $4,500. >> > > >+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ >LIBERTY NORTHWEST CONFERENCE Fidonet 1:346/16 (208) 267-9851 >"The only libertarian-oriented political discussion conference on >the Fidonet Backbone..." SysOps AREAFIX: LIB_NW >Visit Liberty Northwest on the Web: http://www.saldivar.com/lib_nw/ >Subscribe: libnw-on@circuit.com -- Unsubscribe: libnw-off@circuit.com > >...Liberty is never an option... only a condition to be lost >+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ > > ======================================================================== Paul Andrew Mitchell : Counselor at Law, federal witness B.A., Political Science, UCLA; M.S., Public Administration, U.C. Irvine tel: (520) 320-1514: machine; fax: (520) 320-1256: 24-hour/day-night email: [address in tool bar] : using Eudora Pro 3.0.3 on 586 CPU website: http://www.supremelaw.com : visit the Supreme Law Library now ship to: c/o 2509 N. Campbell, #1776 : this is free speech, at its best Tucson, Arizona state : state zone, not the federal zone Postal Zone 85719/tdc : USPS delays first class w/o this As agents of the Most High, we came here to establish justice. We shall not leave, until our mission is accomplished and justice reigns eternal. ======================================================================== [This text formatted on-screen in Courier 11, non-proportional spacing.]
Return to Table of Contents for
Supreme Law School: E-mail