Time: Fri Sep 19 22:18:45 1997 by primenet.com (8.8.5/8.8.5) with ESMTP id WAA03519; Fri, 19 Sep 1997 22:16:01 -0700 (MST) by usr05.primenet.com (8.8.5/8.8.5) with SMTP id WAA20255; Fri, 19 Sep 1997 22:09:25 -0700 (MST) Date: Fri, 19 Sep 1997 22:09:10 -0700 To: (Recipient list suppressed) From: Paul Andrew Mitchell [address in tool bar] Subject: SLS: Woe unto you Lawyers <snip> > > Something you knew along!!! > > The first thing we do, lets kill all the lawyers > (King Henry the Sixth, IV, ii 86) > > Woe unto you Lawyers > (Luke 11:52) > > LAWYERS > > ...There was another point which a little > perplexed him at present. I had said, that some > of our crew left their country on account of > being ruined by law; but he was at a loss how it > should come to pass, that the law which was > intended for every man's preservation, should be > any man's ruin. Therefore he desired to be > further satisfied what I meant by law, and the > dispensers thereof..... > > I assured his Honour, that law was a science > wherein I had not much conversed ..... however, > I would give him all the satisfaction I was able. > > There was a society of men among us, bred up from > their youth in the art of proving by words > multiplied for the purpose, that white is black, > and black is white, according as they are paid. > To this society all the rest of the people are > slaves. For example, if my neighbor hath a mind > to my cow, he hires a lawyer to prove that he > ought to have my cow from me. I must then hire > another to defend my right, it being against all > rules of law that any man should be allowed to > speak for himself. > > Now in this case I am the right owner lie under > two great disadvantages. First, my lawyer, > being practiced almost from his cradle in > defending falsehood, is quite out of his element > when he would be an advocate for justice, which > as an office unnatural, he always attempts with > ill-will. > > The second disadvantage is that my lawyer must > proceed with great caution, or else he will be > reprimanded by the judges, and abhorred by his > brethren, as one that would lessen the practice > of the law. And therefore I have but two methods > to preserve my cow. The first is to gain over my > adversary's lawyer with a double fee, who will > then betray his client by insinuating that he > hath justice on his side. The second way is for > my lawyer to make my cause appear as unjust as he > can, by allowing the cow to belong to my > adversary; and this, if it be skillfully done, > will go a great way towards obtaining a favorable > verdict; it having been found, from a careful > observation of issues and events, that the wrong > side, under the management of such practitioners, > has the fairer chance for success. > > Now, your Honour is to know that these judges are > persons appointed to decide all controversies of > property, as well as for the trial of criminals, > and are picked out from the most dexterous > lawyers, who are grown old or lazy. And having > been biased all their lives against truth and > equity, are under such a fatal necessity of > favoring fraud, perjury, and oppression, that I > have known several of them to refuse a large > bribe from the side of where justice lay, rather > than injure the facility, by doing anything > unbecoming their nature or their office. > > It is a maxim among these lawyers, that whatever > hath been done before may legally be done again; > and therefore they take special care to record > all the decisions formerly made against common > justice and the general reason of mankind. These, > under the name of "precedents", they produce as > authorities, to justify the most iniquitous; and > the judges never fail of directing accordingly. > > In pleading they studiously avoid entering into > the merits of the cause, but are loud, violent, > and tedious in dwelling upon all circumstances > which are not to the purpose. For instance, in > the case already mentioned, they never desire to > know what claim or title my adversary hath to my > cow; but whether the said cow were red or black, > her horns long or short, whether she was milked > at home or abroad, and the like; after which they > consult precedents, adjourn the cause from time > to time and in ten, twenty, or thirty years come > to an issue. > > It is likewise to be observed, that this society > hath a peculiar cant and jargon of their own, > that no other mortal can understand, and wherein > all their laws are written, whereby they have > wholly con- founded the very essence of truth and > falsehood. > > In the trial of persons accused for crimes > against the state the method is much more short > and commendable; the judge first sends to sound > the disposition of those in power, after which he > can easily hang or save the criminal strictly > preserving all due forms of law. > > Here my master interposed, saying it was a pity > that creatures endowed with such prodigious > abilities of mind were not rather encouraged to > be instructors of others in wisdom and knowledge. > In answer I assured him that in all points out of > their trade, they were the most ignorant and > stupid generations among us, and equally disposed > to pervert the general reason of mankind in every > other subject of discourse as in that of > their own profession. > GULLIVER'S TRAVELS, Part IV; Chapter V; 1735 > --- Jonathan Swift > > MODERN DAY COMMENT ON LAWYERS > > For every age, a group of bright boys, learned in > their trade and jealous of their learning who > blend technical competence with plain and fancy > hocus-pocus to make themselves masters of their > fellowman... > > We cannot die and leave our property to our > children without calling on the lawyers to guide > us through a maze of confusing gestures and > formalities that lawyers have created. Why should > not a man who wants to leave his property to his > wife at the death say in his will, "I will > everything I own to go to my wife when I die", > instead of having to hire a lawyer and go through > a long rigmarole of legal language? It is through > the medium of their weird and wordy mental > gymnastics that the lawyers lay down the rules > under which we live. And it is only because the > average man cannot play their game, and so cannot > see for himself how instrinsically empty of > meaning their playthings are, that the lawyers > continue to get away with it. The legal trade, in > short, is nothing but a high class racket... > > If the ordinary man could see in black and white > how silly and irrelevant and unnecessary it all > is, he might be persuaded, in a peaceful way, to > take control of his civilization out of the hands > of these modern purveyors of streamlined voodoo > and chromium-plated theology, the lawyers. > Fred Rodell (Professor > - Yale Law School) > > > THE REST OF THE STORY > > If there is a stain on the record of our > forefathers, a dark hour in the earliest history > of the American colonies, it would be the hanging > of the so-called "witches" at Salem. > > But that was a pinpoint in place and time - a > brief lapse of hysteria. For the most part, our > seventeenth-century colonists were scrupulously > fair, even in fear. > > There was one group they feared with reason - a > society, you might say, whose often insidious > craft had claimed a multitude of victims, ever > since the Middle Ages in Europe. > > One group of people were hated and feared from > Massachusetts to Virginia. The magistrates would > not burn them at the stake, although surely a > great many of the colonists might have > recommended such a solution. Our forefathers were > baffled by them. > > In the first place, where did they come from? Of > all who sailed from England to Plymouth in 1620, > not one of those two-legged vermin was abroad. > "Vermin." That's what the colonist called them. > Parasites who fed on human misery, spreading > sorrow and confusion wherever they went. > "Destructive," they were called. > > And still they were permitted coexistence with > the colonists. For a while, anyway. Of course, > there were colonial laws prohibiting the practice > of their infamous craft. Somehow a way was always > found around those laws. > > In 1641, Massachusetts Bay colony took a novel > approach to the problem. The governors attempted > to starve those "devils" out of existence through > economic exclusion. They were denied wages, and > thereby it was hoped that they would perish. > > Four years later, Virginia followed the example > of Massachusetts Bay, and for a while it seemed > that the dilemma had been resolved. > > It had not. Somehow, the parasites managed to > survive, and the mere nearness of them made the > colonists' skin crawl. > > In 1658 in Virginia the final solution: > Banishment. Exile. The "treacherous one" were > cast out of the colony. At last, after decades > of enduring the psychological gloom, the sun came > out and the birds sang and all was right with the > world. And the elation continue for a generation. > > I'm not sure why the Virginians eventually > allowed the outcasts to return, but they did. In > 1680, after twenty-two years, they despised ones > were readmitted to the colony on the condition > they be subjected to the strictest surveillance. > > How soon we forget! > > For indeed, over the next half-century or so, the > imposed restrictions were slowly, quietly swept > away. And those whose treachery had been feared > since the Middle Ages ultimately took their place > in society. > > You see, the "vermin" that once infested colonial > America, the parasites who preyed on the > misfortune of their neighbors until finally they > were officially banished from Virginia, those > dreaded, despised, outcast masters of confusion > were lawyers. (from paul Harvey's THE REST OF > THE STORY) > > > > CONCERNING LAWYERS > > I think we may class the lawyer in the natural > history of monsters. (John Keats) > > Enemies to all knowledge and learning. (Jonathan > Swift) > > One who helps you get what's coming to him > (Anon). > > A liar with a permit to practice (Anon) > > Woe to those who enact evil statutes, and to > those who constantly record unjust decisions, so > as to deprive the needy of justice, and rob the > poor of My people of their rights...Now what will > you do in the day of punishment, and in the > devastation which will come from afar? To whom > will you flee for help? And where will you leave > your wealth? (Isaiah, Chapter 10, ver. 1-3) > <snip> ======================================================================== Paul Andrew Mitchell : Counselor at Law, federal witness B.A., Political Science, UCLA; M.S., Public Administration, U.C. Irvine tel: (520) 320-1514: machine; fax: (520) 320-1256: 24-hour/day-night email: [address in tool bar] : using Eudora Pro 3.0.3 on 586 CPU website: http://www.supremelaw.com : visit the Supreme Law Library now ship to: c/o 2509 N. Campbell, #1776 : this is free speech, at its best Tucson, Arizona state : state zone, not the federal zone Postal Zone 85719/tdc : USPS delays first class w/o this As agents of the Most High, we came here to establish justice. We shall not leave, until our mission is accomplished and justice reigns eternal. ======================================================================== [This text formatted on-screen in Courier 11, non-proportional spacing.]
Return to Table of Contents for
Supreme Law School: E-mail