Time: Fri Oct 03 13:56:39 1997
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Date: Fri, 03 Oct 1997 13:51:46 -0700
To: (Recipient list suppressed)
From: Paul Andrew Mitchell [address in tool bar]
Subject: SLS: So, why DID the chicken cross the road? (fwd:)
Cc: <harold@halcyon.com>
Actually, the chicken never made it across the road;
it was hit by a car driven by Clinton's chauffer,
as he was trying to break up a fight in the back seat
between Hillary and Bill. The plucked chicken landed
in the horizontal freezer compartment owned by
Harold Thomas, who left it there as an object lesson
for the next nasty parrot that ever came into his life.
You DO know what the parrot said, after cussing up a
storm, getting thrown in, and then coming out of the
deep freeze, a totally transformed bird, don't you?
"What did the CHICKEN do?"
[borrowed unscrupulously from a longer version with
the same punch line; still causing my sides to ache!]
<snip>
>
>The answer according to
>
>Darwin: "Chickens, over millions of years, have been selected through
>competition and survival of the fittest, to have a genetic
>predisposition for crossing roads."
>
>Einstein: "The question as to whether the chicken crossed the road or
>the road passed under the chicken has no objective meaning; it depends
>on one's frame of reference."
>
>Emerson: "The chicken did not cross the road - it merely transcended
>it."
>
>Al Gore: "The chicken crossed the road because there was no controlling
>legal authority to prevent it."
>
>
>Bill Clinton: "Well, I don't remember for sure if the chicken crossed
>the road. There's not a single scrap of evidence to suggest that it
>did. Of course, it might have, but if it did then there was certainly
>nothing illegal about it. The chicken is the most ethical fowl in
>American history."
>
>Richard Morris: "We had to make the chicken cross the road if we wanted
>to defeat the Republicans."
>
>James Carville: "The Republicans made the chicken cross the road."
>
>The press: "Today the Republicans rounded up all the chickens in the
>nation, marched them across the road, forced them to pray and then shot
>them with unregistered assault weapons. Neglecting the cries of the
>needy of this country, the Republicans then slaughtered the chickens,
>roasted them over an open fire, thereby contributing dangerous CO2
>emissions which are causing catastrophic global warming, and ate all of
>the birds, which are listed as an endangered species. The Republicans
>then sat around smoking cigarettes, making racist jokes and conspiring
>to take away social security from our nation's senior citizens."
>
<snip>
===========================================================================
Paul Andrew Mitchell, Sui Juris : Counselor at Law, federal witness 01
B.A.: Political Science, UCLA; M.S.: Public Administration, U.C.Irvine 02
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email: [address in tool bar] : using Eudora Pro 3.0.3 on 586 CPU 04
website: http://supremelaw.com : visit the Supreme Law Library now 05
ship to: c/o 2509 N. Campbell, #1776 : this is free speech, at its best 06
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_____________________________________: Law is authority in written words 09
As agents of the Most High, we came here to establish justice. We shall 10
not leave, until our mission is accomplished and justice reigns eternal. 11
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