Time: Tue Mar 04 22:32:40 1997
	by primenet.com (8.8.5/8.8.5) with SMTP id VAA18929;
	Tue, 4 Mar 1997 21:16:16 -0700 (MST)
Date: Tue, 04 Mar 1997 22:17:36 -0800
To: (Recipient list suppressed)
From: Paul Andrew Mitchell [address in tool bar]
Subject: SLS: Humor Break (fwd)

<snip>
>ANSWERING MACHINE MESSAGES
>
> Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator.
>Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one
>of these magnets.
>
>Hello, this is KVKE, you're on the air.
>
>  (Very fast:) Hi, this is 904-4344. If you want to leave a message,
>please wait for the tone. If you want to leave your name and number,
>please press pound, press 3, then dial  your name, then press 6 and dial
>your number. If you want to leave your name and just a message, press
>star, press 6, ask for extension 4443, then leave your name and message.
>If you want to leave your number and the  time you called, please press
>star twice, spin in a circle, press 1 twice, talk loud and BEEP.
>
> This is the Literacy Self Test Hotline. After the tone, leave your name
>and number, and recite a sentence using today's vocabulary word. Today's
>word is "supercilious".
>
> Greetings, you have reached the Sixth Sense Detective Agency. We know
>who you are and what you want, so at the sound of the tone, please hang
>up.
>
>  I can't come to the phone now because I have amnesia and I feel stupid
>talking to people I don't remember. I'd appreciate it if you could help
>me out by leaving my name and telling me something about myself. Thanks.
>
> Thank you for calling the CSU Automated Hearing Test Line. Prepare for
>Test 1. Is this tone louder in your left ear or right ear? ... BEEP
>
> Hello, this is Ron's toaster. Ron's new answering machine is in the
>shop for repairs, so please leave your message when the toast is done...
>(Cachunk!)
>
>  Thank you for calling 434-2322. If you wish to speak to Tim, push 1 on
>your touch tone phone now. If you wish to speak to Lynn, push 2 on your
>touch tone phone now. If  you have a wrong number, push 3 on your touch
>tone phone now. All of this button pushing doesn't do anything, but it
>is a good way to work off anger, and it makes us feel like we have a big
>time phone system.
>
>  I can't come to the phone now, so if, well, actually, I CAN come to
>the phone now, I mean, like, I'm at the phone NOW, recording this
>message, but I'm doing this NOW, while you're listening to it LATER,
>except for you I guess it's NOW, like, when you're listening to it... I
>mean, like, wait. This is so confusing.
>
> The number you have reached, 226-0477, has been changed. The new number
>is 226-0477. Please make a note of it.
>
> You have reached the CPX-2000 Voice Blackmail System. Your voice
>patterns are now being digitally encoded and stored for later use. Once
>this is done, our computers  will be able to use the sound of YOUR voice
>for literally thousands of illegal and immoral purposes. There is no
>charge for this initial consultation. However our staff of professional
>extortionists will contact you in the near future to further explain
>the benefits of our service, and to arrange for your schedule of
>payment. Remember to speak clearly at the sound of the tone. Thank you.
>
>
>
>Have a great day!
>
>Jack In Illinois
>The Impact Voters Of America (sm)
>
>Communications without intelligence is noise!
>Intelligence without communication is irrelevant!


========================================================================
Paul Andrew, Mitchell, B.A., M.S.    : Counselor at Law, federal witness
email:       [address in tool bar]   : Eudora Pro 3.0.1 on Intel 586 CPU
web site:  http://www.supremelaw.com : library & law school registration
ship to: c/o 2509 N. Campbell, #1776 : this is free speech,  at its best
             Tucson, Arizona state   : state zone,  not the federal zone
             Postal Zone 85719/tdc   : USPS delays first class  w/o this
========================================================================


      


Return to Table of Contents for

Supreme Law School:   E-mail