Time: Mon Mar 17 03:38:10 1997 by primenet.com (8.8.5/8.8.5) with ESMTP id VAA21589; Mon, 17 Mar 1997 21:04:20 -0700 (MST) by usr07.primenet.com (8.8.5/8.8.5) with SMTP id VAA18400; Mon, 17 Mar 1997 21:01:40 -0700 (MST) Date: Mon, 17 Mar 1997 03:28:36 -0800 To: (Recipient list suppressed) From: Paul Andrew Mitchell [address in tool bar] Subject: D.C. Brown Derby Haywire in Columbia's District by Paul Andrew Mitchell All Rights Reserved (1997) What they need is a good Potomac flood, like the flash floods which roar through Rock Creek Park, right afer a Peter, Paul, and Mary concert under the humid stars above. We almost lost a friend that way, after he drank too many beers, and fell in, while contributing to the flow. That's the problem: there is too much sewage in the Potomac. It needs to overflow its banks, like the Nile, and fertilize every federal office within 5 miles either side of those banks. That should reach all the way to the steps of the Supreme Court, and up the first flight of marble stairs, and submerge the grave stones at Arlington. Rehnquist will row home. No one will really notice. They all laugh when the winning rowing coach gets thrown in every year, and then they have to chloroform him. It will do the reflecting pool wonders, to expand its banks with this great brown stuff, suspended solids in all directions, ever widening, ever soaking, stopping traffic and creating huge puddles on the beltway, all the way to the Pentagon, and beyond. The windshield hardware will not be able to handle it -- this thick brown sludge, which jams wipers and clogs radiators and fouls carburetor intakes. People will be seen wearing green surgery masks, as they add mascara, or pick their noses in heavy traffic. It would be a grand ol' time. The D.C. Brown Derby. Signs will appear out of nowhere: Speed up for pedestrians; 28 points! Yes, indeed, a grand ol' time. That is, assuming of course, that the rack and pinion steering mechanisms do not also succumb to the onslaught of little brown stuff, as it works its way under the tiny rubber boots and competes, quite successfully, with the factory-sealed lubricants and other metal additives. The D.C. Decomposition Derby. Yes, don't forget the ravages of time. We are all getting older by the minute! /s/ Paul Mitchell (overflowing with sarcasm, once again) ======================================================================== Paul Andrew, Mitchell, B.A., M.S. : Counselor at Law, federal witness email: [address in tool bar] : Eudora Pro 3.0.1 on Intel 586 CPU web site: http://www.supremelaw.com : library & law school registration ship to: c/o 2509 N. Campbell, #1776 : this is free speech, at its best Tucson, Arizona state : state zone, not the federal zone Postal Zone 85719/tdc : USPS delays first class w/o this ========================================================================
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