Time: Mon Mar 17 03:38:10 1997
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Date: Mon, 17 Mar 1997 03:28:36 -0800
To: (Recipient list suppressed)
From: Paul Andrew Mitchell [address in tool bar]
Subject: D.C. Brown Derby

    Haywire in Columbia's District

       by Paul Andrew Mitchell
         All Rights Reserved
               (1997)


What they need is a good Potomac flood,
like the flash floods which roar through
Rock Creek Park, right afer a Peter, Paul,
and Mary concert under the humid stars
above.  We almost lost a friend that way,
after he drank too many beers, and fell
in, while contributing to the flow.  That's
the problem:  there is too much sewage
in the Potomac.  It needs to overflow its
banks, like the Nile, and fertilize every
federal office within 5 miles either side
of those banks.  That should reach all the
way to the steps of the Supreme Court,
and up the first flight of marble stairs,
and submerge the grave stones at Arlington.
Rehnquist will row home.

No one will really notice.  They all laugh
when the winning rowing coach gets thrown
in every year, and then they have to 
chloroform him.  It will do the reflecting
pool wonders, to expand its banks with this
great brown stuff, suspended solids in all
directions, ever widening, ever soaking,
stopping traffic and creating huge puddles
on the beltway, all the way to the Pentagon,
and beyond.

The windshield hardware will not be able to
handle it -- this thick brown sludge, which
jams wipers and clogs radiators and fouls
carburetor intakes.  People will be seen
wearing green surgery masks, as they add
mascara, or pick their noses in heavy traffic.
It would be a grand ol' time.  The D.C. 
Brown Derby.  Signs will appear out of 
nowhere:  

   Speed up for pedestrians;  28 points!

Yes, indeed, a grand ol' time.

That is, assuming of course, that the
rack and pinion steering mechanisms do not
also succumb to the onslaught of little 
brown stuff, as it works its way under the tiny
rubber boots and competes, quite successfully,
with the factory-sealed lubricants and other
metal additives.  

The D.C. Decomposition Derby. 
 
Yes, don't forget the ravages of time.  

We are all getting older by the minute!

/s/ Paul Mitchell
(overflowing with sarcasm, once again)

========================================================================
Paul Andrew, Mitchell, B.A., M.S.    : Counselor at Law, federal witness
email:       [address in tool bar]   : Eudora Pro 3.0.1 on Intel 586 CPU
web site:  http://www.supremelaw.com : library & law school registration
ship to: c/o 2509 N. Campbell, #1776 : this is free speech,  at its best
             Tucson, Arizona state   : state zone,  not the federal zone
             Postal Zone 85719/tdc   : USPS delays first class  w/o this
========================================================================


      


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