Time: Sat Nov 02 16:18:48 1996
To: Nancy Lord <defense@macon.mindspring.com>
From: Paul Andrew Mitchell [address in tool bar]
Subject: computer industry laughs
Cc: 
Bcc: 

At 03:46 PM 11/2/96 -0500, you wrote:
>At 12:55 PM 11/2/96 -0700, you wrote:
>>At 12:14 PM 11/2/96 -0500, you wrote:
>>>At 03:41 AM 11/2/96 -0700, you wrote:
>>>>Side splitters from the computer industry:
>>>
>>>Paul,
>>>        This is the funniest thing I've ever read.  I
>>>have tears coming out of my eyes.
>>>        
>>>Nancy
>>
>>Hi Nancy,
>>
>>My toaster ate my passport
>>(got to it before the "Gids".)
>
>        Well it was the right size, wasn't it?
>It should have toasted it.  Better take it
>in.
>
>        I'm getting really jumpy about the trial.
>What will I do if they are convicted?

Subject matter jurisdiction
can be raised AT ANY TIME,
remember?  You need reminding,
don't you.

  Bomb the
>courthouse?  Raid the jail and let everybody 
>out? 

You are just joking here, I know.

  
>        Maybe just shoot some pictures, with an
>AK.  That means Automated Kodak, doesn't it?

Yes.  

How about: NOTICE OF REMOVAL
to District Court of the United States,
coupled with challenge to Jury Selection
and Service Act? 


>        Follow the yellow brick road.  
>        Phone quiet, except Pat Shannon wants me
>on tonight.  Am I OK to go on the radio?

You are OK, you beautiful specimen,
you.  But, I am happy to remind you
of this too, anytime, actually.

  JJ said I
>was laughing too much on media bypass.  They said
>I did fine, and want me back on.

Can you control the Brooklyn
accent, though?  I have been
meaning to tawk to you about
that, if you are open to it?
Repeat after me: 

"I went for a ride on Long Island."
"I went for a ride on Long Island."
...
"The rain in Spain falls mainly in the plain."

"I think she's got eet.  
"I think she's got eeeeet!"

   I don't feel like
>much of a star today.
>        I'm real jumpy. 

You are under bombardment by
dark forces, and they are all
heavily trained in deep cover
operations. Remember this:
a covert operation is covering
up the fact that you are covering
up.  This, from "Best Evidence"
by David Lifton, who did chain
of possession research on JFK's
corpse.  Important insight, yes?

/s/ Paul Mitchell

 
>
>Nancy
>
>>
>>/s/ Paul Mitchell
>>
>>
>>>
>>>>
>>>>Can you believe that these things really happen?
>>>>
>>>>So you think you're computer-illiterate?  Check out the  following
>>>>excerpts from a Wall Street Journal article by Jim Carlton --
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>1. Compaq is considering changing the command "Press Any Key" to
>>>>"Press Return Key" because of the flood of calls asking where the
>>>>"Any" key is.
>>>>
>>>>2. AST technical support had a caller complaining that her mouse
>>>>was hard to control with the dust cover on.  The cover turned out
>>>>to be the plastic bag the mouse was packaged in.
>>>>
>>>>3. Another Compaq technician received a call from a man
>>>>complaining that the system wouldn't read word processing files
>>>>from his old diskettes.  After trouble-shooting for magnets and
>>>>heat failed to diagnose the problem, it was found that the
>>>>customer labeled the diskettes then rolled them into the
>>>>typewriter to type the labels.
>>>>
>>>>4. Another AST customer was asked to send a copy of her defective
>>>>diskettes.  A few days later a letter arrived from the customer
>>>>along  with Xeroxed copies of the floppies.
>>>>
>>>>5. A Dell technician advised his customer to put his troubled
>>>>floppy back in the drive and close the door.  The customer asked
>>>>the tech to hold on, and was heard putting the phone down,
>>>>getting up and crossing the room to close the door to his room.
>>>>
>>>>6. Another Dell customer called to say he couldn't get his
>>>>computer to fax anything.  After 40 minutes of trouble-shooting,
>>>>the technician discovered the man was trying to fax a piece of
>>>>paper by holding it in front of the monitor  screen and hitting
>>>>the "send" key.
>>>>
>>>>7. Another Dell customer needed help setting up a new program, so
>>>>a Dell tech suggested he go to the local Egghead.  "Yeah, I got
>>>>me a couple of friends, "the customer replied.  When told Egghead
>>>>was a software store, the man said, "Oh, I thought you meant for
>>>>me to find a couple of geeks."
>>>>
>>>>8. Yet another Dell customer called to complain that his keyboard
>>>>no longer worked.  He had cleaned it by filling up his tub with
>>>>soap and water and soaking the keyboard for a day, then removing
>>>>all the keys and washing them individually.
>>>>
>>>>9. A Dell technician received a call from a customer who was
>>>>enraged because his computer had told him he was "bad and an
>>>>invalid".  The tech explained that the computer's "bad command"
>>>>and "invalid" responses shouldn't be taken personally.
>>>>
>>>>10. An exasperated caller to Dell Computer Tech Support couldn't
>>>>get her new Dell Computer to turn on.  After ensuring the computer
>>>>was plugged in, the technician asked her what happened  when she
>>>>pushed the power button. Her response, "I pushed and  pushed on
>>>>this foot pedal and nothing happens." The "foot pedal" turned out
>>>>to be the computer's mouse.
>>>>
>>>>11. Another customer called Compaq tech support to say her
>>>>brand-new computer wouldn't work.  She said she unpacked the
>>>>unit, plugged it in, and sat there for 20 minutes waiting for
>>>>something to happen. When asked what happened when she pressed
>>>>the power switch, she asked "What power switch?"
>>>>
>>>>12.  True story from a Novell NetWire SysOp:
>>>>
>>>>Caller: "Hello, is this Tech Support?"
>>>>Tech:   "Yes, it is. How may I help you?"
>>>>Caller: "The cup holder on my PC is broken and I am within my warranty
>>>>         period. How do I go about getting that fixed?"
>>>>Tech:   "I'm sorry, but did you say a cup holder?"
>>>>Caller: "Yes, it's attached to the front of my computer."
>>>>Tech:   "Please excuse me if I seem a bit stumped, It's because
>>>>         I am. Did you receive this as part of a promotional,
>>>>         at a trade show? How did you get this cup holder?
>>>>         Does it have any trademark on it?"
>>>>Caller: "It came with my computer, I don't know anything about a
>>>>         promotional. It just has '4X' on it."
>>>>
>>>>At this point the Tech Rep had to mute the caller, because he
>>>>couldn't stand it. The caller had been using the load drawer of the
>>>>CD-ROM drive as a cup holder, and snapped it off the drive!
>>>>
>>>>8-]
>>>>
>>>>===========================================================
>>>>Paul Andrew, Mitchell, B.A., M.S.:  pmitch@primenet.com                  
>>>>ship to: c/o 2509 N. Campbell, #1776, Tucson, Arizona state
>>>>===========================================================
>>>>
>>>>
>>>
>>>
>>
>>===========================================================
>>Paul Andrew, Mitchell, B.A., M.S.:  pmitch@primenet.com                  
>>ship to: c/o 2509 N. Campbell, #1776, Tucson, Arizona state
>>===========================================================
>>
>>
>
>
      


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