Time: Mon Nov 11 09:50:27 1996
To: tab@hollyent.com
From: Paul Andrew Mitchell [address in tool bar]
Subject: Re: Thank you Veterans!
Cc: 
Bcc: 


>I now understand that my Government lied to me . I was 19 at the time (1966)
>and had no idea that the Government was not "Of the People , By the People
>and For the People ".
>
>The real reason for the war was in part to make some people richer. 
>
>One side effect was to test a new generation weapons in combat conditions . At a
>cost of blood .
>
>Harry


Dear Harry,

When I was a political science intern
in Washington, D.C. during the summer
of 1969, I was able to spend some time
at the Pentagon public library, 
investigating Pentagon weapons mistakes
since World War II.  One of the more
significant mistakes I found was the
Sheridan tank (I believe).  This tank
was designed to ride low to the ground,
and the cannons were unique for using
combustible cartridges.  This meant
that the main cannon did not eject
a brass cartridge after firing;  the
whole thing blew out the end of the
barrel.

There was a "small" problem, however.
The cartridge material was highly
combustible (had to be), and some of
it failed to blow out the barrel.
When the crew re-opened the breach,
to re-load, this flaming torch came
blowing back into the crew compartment,
burning hand and faces, and also igniting
other shells on the floor of the tank.
This, of course, caused the tank to 
blow into a million pieces, and the
crews with it.

The Pentagon had put this tank into
service before the bugs were worked out,
it seems, and they also failed to provide
the crews with instruction manuals to
deal with these "problems."  When the
instruction manual finally arrived,
it contained directions for enclosing
the unfired rounds in rubber bags, 
complete with their own zippers.  Now,
what is the one thing that every zipper
always does?  You got it:  they stick.
So, you find yourself in an intense 
firefight, and the zipper is stuck.
What now, Robert MacNamara?

To make matters worse, the low profile
of the tank motivated the designers to
put the engine radiator in the floor
of the frame, pointing downwards, 
parallel with the ground.  This position
caused radiators to entrain brush and
vegetation, blocking the air flow, and
causing engines to overhead and fail.
When the famous "instruction manual"
arrived, it contained a directive to
stop the tank every 15 minutes, exit
the tank, reach under the tank, between
the tread wheels, and remove any brush
and vegetation which had accumulated.

So, now, picture this firefight.
You are firing like mad to protect
yourself, or your buddies in the 
neighboring Sheridan, and the zippers
are getting stuck.  To make matters
worse, your fifteen minutes are up,
so now you need to poke your head out
of the turret, hold up your hands
like a basketball referee, and shout,
"TIME OUT!!"  Whereupon, you will
climb under the tank, while the enemy
is looking the other way, or taking
a cigarette break, and remove all the
brush and vegetation which are about
to cook your 1000 horsepower supercharged
diesel into so much scrap iron.

Robert MacNamara, are you listening?

Time in.

/s/ Paul Mitchell
      


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