Re: Can my neighbor's monkey really do this? No problem...

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Posted by The Man in the Yellow Hat on July 07, 1998 at 03:03:17:

In Reply to: Re: Can my neighbor's monkey really do this? posted by Mr. X on July 07, 1998 at 00:31:14:

Take a trip to your local exotic or well stocked pet store, get a large predatory snake for the weekend. Your neighbor's monkey (and his turds) will make a great snack for the serpent. Return on Monday.

Alternate plan... mail order some "chemical breeding stimulants" from a livestock supply house. If you can successfully get even 2% dose of that stuff into your buddies monkey... your buddies hairy ear canal will likely get some lovin... if you know what I mean. (just don't get near the little primate yourself after this)

: > My neighbor is a lawyer. He has a pet monkey
: > (spider monkey) this monkey throws his defacants
: > at me and my children. I had to take one of my
: > children to the emergency room a month ago
: > because some of this material got into my child's
: > eye and caused a serious infection. My lawyer
: > neighbor say that it's perfectly legal for his
: > monkey to carry on like this.
: > What can I do? Please help.
: The first thing you should do is to go to
: and see if it's legal
: for someone to have a primate as a pet in your
: state. (don't click on the map, use the text links
: at the bottom of the page -

: If it is, and it usually isn't, there is
: almost certainly some sort of permit required. If
: you neighbor doesn't have one, he's in some very
: serious trouble. Post a message on the mesage
: board at that your neighbor has
: a monkey as a pet illegaly(assuming that he does).
: There will probably be some people there that will
: be more than happy to help you, or at least point
: you to an animal group that will.

: Throwing excrement at your kids would probably be
: treated like they were bitten by the local animal
: control agency.

: Of course, you could always throw the shit back at
: your neighbor...

: Mr. X

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